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So I made a Twitter! Follow me for daily updates on everything going on. I promise to be interesting & fun. You can reply, comment, or ask questions as well. I will be sure to reply to you. Can't wait to chat with you all! :)

https://twitter.com/AwkMormNatasha
@AwkMormNatasha

How To Get Over A Guy Who Never Liked You

I found these online & thought I should share. I really need them myself & I hope they help someone who is in a similar situation. 

• Why should I waste my time on someone who doesn't care and isn't willing to spend his time on me?
• Why should I waste my emotions on someone who doesn't reciprocate?
• Why should I waste my tears crying over someone who will never know, never care and wouldn't care?
• Why should I subject my heart to such pain over someone who doesn't give two hoots about me?
• Why should I put myself through such arduous torture of missing him, thinking about him, caring about him, loving him and gain nothing of that sort in return?
• Why should I get depressed over a man who can ruin my chances of meeting potential better men?

Tyler Update

Yes, I am in Utah this week, but again I had no intention of letting Tyler know this. One of my cousins that I am staying with is super nosey & somehow convinced me to tell him all about the Tyler situation. Being the guy he is, he decided to take my phone & text him!

Let me inform you on something that happened a week ago. Natasha & I had just gotten back from a party Friday night and we were up until about 3 a.m. just talking about everything & anything. Being late & not thinking much, I thought it would be a good idea to mess around with Tyler & send him the exact text he sent me after the first time we made out. So I did.

Never got a text back.

So can you imagine how I felt about my cousin texting him?

My cousin texting him as me: "Hey(:"
Tyler" "Hey whats up? :)"

He actually replied. Within like 10 minutes. But I was determined to not text him back. I was over him. I wanted nothing to do with him. And I actually did well for a bit. I didn't end up texting him back until 8 hours later, & only because it was late & I was bored.

Me: "Sorry it took me literally 8 hours to reply. I forgot how busy life can be when your with family. Whats up?"
Tyler: "Well I'm in *** for thanksgiving! What are you doing?" 
Me: "In *** with the fam for thanksgiving! Hope you have a fun day :)"
Tyler: "You too! Happy Thanksgiving!!! :)"
Me: "Thank you! Happy Thanksgiving :)"

That's it. Yes, I was basically the one who ended the conversation. Do I regret it? Kind of. Where he was at was far away from where I am at so I knew we wouldn't be able to hang out. So my thought process was if he wanted to ACTUALLY talk to me, he would try to continue the conversation. But he didn't. But do you see how many exclamations he put? I didn't exaggerate. Those are exact quotes.

Eh. I'm trying to stop thinking about him. Wish me luck.

Giving Thanks

I am grateful for so many things. I have been blessed with an amazing family. A little torn, but even then, I am grateful for the trials I have been faced with because I have learned so much from them. I am grateful for my amazing mom & the love that she has given me the past 18 years. I am grateful for my siblings & the smiles they put on my face. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to be able to move across the country to attend BYU-I. I am grateful for the friends I have made while attending BYU-I. I am grateful for the friends I have back at home & the amazing support they are. I am grateful for the Gospel. It has brought me so much happiness that I could not get elsewhere.

I came to Utah this week for the thanksgiving break and spent it with my uncle, aunt, and cousins. I have been thinking about staying with them in the winter while I am off track. My other options were going back to Florida or staying in Rexburg. I decided not to stay in Rexburg because I can't afford to pay for another semesters rent & it would be difficult to find a job. Going back to Florida just sounded like going back to high school. Same town, same people, same job. I feel that I became an adult these past couple months & I wanted to continue to experience new things. So I have decided to move here in January with my uncle and aunt. I am beyond nervous though. I'm going to have to sell my car in Florida to buy one up here. Find a job. Make new friends. It's definitely going to be challenging, but I'm looking forward to it.

I thank Heavenly Father everyday for all the blessing he has given me. With Him in my mind & heart, I know everything will turn out the way it needs to be. He loves me & I love him, just as he loves you so very much.

Current Emotions

"Round Two?"

In order for this post to make sense, you have to go read this post.

I wish I would have blogged in between now & then so you could have seen my struggle but then also seen how much better I got towards the end. But I will try to explain to you how this past month has gone. So after making out with rando Tyler who lives in Utah, my feelings went as followed:

• Week 1: Wow, I really liked making out with Tyler & I wish he lived here
• Week 2: Why do I like Tyler so much, all I did was make out with him
• Week 3: I'm so pathetic, I haven't even spoken to the kid since we made out & I still think about him
• Week 4: That's it, I'm over it. I'm happy. 

Last week I honestly was over it. I hardly thought about it. I was genuinely happy. 

Natasha, Hannah, Dave & I had been planning for a while that we were going to go to Utah this weekend to go to the BYU game. Yes, I realized I was going to be only miles away from where Tyler lived but I had no intentions of texting him letting him know I was there. And this was for two reasons: 1) I didn't want to be embarrassed if he totally shut me down because what we did was a one time thing 2) I was over him. 

So we drive down & my friends obv tell me that I should text him. I'm constantly telling them I'm not going to do it but they keep pushing it. I just let it go & let them say what they want to say. We get to Hannah's friends place that we were staying at & Dave leaves because he is spending the night at his friends place.. So we are left with no car. It wasn't too bad considering we were super close to everything we would need. We put on a movie but we all end up falling asleep. I wake about an hour later but everybody is still sleeping. I had a text from Dave saying "TEXT TYLER". 

Ya know when you are just waking up from sleep & you have no cares in the world & you just do the craziest thing? Yeah, so this happened:

How did this even happen?! Like honestly. I'll spare all the details but long story short, he came & picked me up a few hours later & went to his place which was only like 20 min away from where I was staying. 

Wowie, can a make out even get any better?  This time was different though. We didn't make out the whole time. We actually cuddled & talked. Want to know the cutest part? We fell asleep. Cuddling. In each others arms. Like how am I supposed to not have an emotional connection with someone after that? I was over his place for about 3 hours & then we decided I should probably be going back. So he drove me back to where I was staying & our conversation was great. We talked about our families & what we want to do in the future. It made it even worse that he held my hand on the drive back.

Once we got to there, we just sat in the car & talked more. Okkkaaaay, we did also make out a little more, but it was like cute kissing. He even held told me he was going to come to Idaho soon. With all this stuff I couldn't help but say this one thing I swore I would never tell him.

Me: "So is it bad.....that I kinda like you...?"
Him: "Uhhh....well.....you live in Idaho & I live here so I would be kinda pointless."

I literally felt like an idiot. I was all like "yeah, duh, that was dumb of me to say". And then he just grabbed by hand again & was like "no it wasn't dumb" & then we just started kissing again. I'm not happy neither upset about his response. It could have been better & he could have said it back. Or he could have said the same thing but then pulled away from me & leave. Even after I said that, we stayed sitting in his car talking for about 30 minutes. I literally had to force myself out of his car because if I didn't we would have talked all night/morning.

When I went inside & was getting ready to go to bed, I realized the bandana I was wearing in my hair was now not there & I was missing an earring. This gave either myself or him an excuse to text each other. But neither of us did. It's been 4 days & we haven't spoken.

I really just want my bandana back.

and also maybe him...

My Apology

I apologize for my lack of blogging. This has literally been the most stressful month I have probably ever experienced. So much drama. Too much has happened that I can't write about it because I could get in trouble if anyone ever found out I was blogging about it, but let's just say that everything that has happened I feel is for a reason & I'm glad it did. Nothing horrible happened, I'm still healthy & so is my family. I'm still living the standards of the church. I'm still going to school at BYU-I. Some things just had to be moved around.

But I'm back for good now. But nothing is back to how it used to be. There is still drama happening within my group of friends. And it sucks because I'm stuck in the middle of it. I'm sure you have all experienced it. It's the worst.

This post is mostly me just apologizing & trying to give a reason why I haven't been blogging. The exciting stuff comes in my next post so be ready.

Here, There, Everywhere.

This past week has been so stressful. Between finding myself still thinking about Tyler, two of our crazy roommates getting us in trouble for going past curfew, & missing home. Let's just say I'm happy it's a new week.

You read right. Out of the 6 of us, 2 of my roommates got "so" upset that we were coming home past curfew that they decided it was a good idea to tell on us. I'm not going to go into much detail about it but I will say that they are CRAZY PEOPLE & I can't wait to never live with them again. My original roommate, Caylie, & Hannah switched rooms because Caylie is BFF's with Chloe. So now Hannah is in my room which is great because I LOVE HER!

Cody has become part of that gang. Him & Michelle are basically dating, they just haven't DTR yet. He's over our place 5 days out of the week. It's definitely been a blessing having him around because he has introduced us to seem pretty cool people we can call our friends now. One of them who is Dave. He is super chill & is just a fun guy to be around. He asked me to make out about a week ago & I probably would have except for the fact that he asked when it was me, him & hannah all sitting in a room alone....yes, Hannah was sitting right in front of us when he asked me this. It obviously would have been awkward if that would have happened so I just laughed it off. Yeah, talk about awkward.

I think a lot about Tyler. He probably doesn't even think about me. I was just some chick he made out with while out of town. Whatever. Hopefully next time I blog I'll have him out of my mind.

Dance parties here are super fun. I do enjoy going to them. What can I say, I like grinding. Sue me.

Last note, I'm thinking about making a Twitter account to go along with my blog. If I get some feedback on it, I will. So let me know what you think about that :)

The streak has been broken!

I'm kind of pathetic, if you already didn't know that about me. I just like boys way too much & I get attached way to easily. And by easily I mean like after a day or two of just texting. Anywho , you may all be excited to hear about my very exciting weekend I had!

I talked about meeting Cody & he kinda leads me into this, but not really. Well first off, Friday night Cody, 2 of his friends, my roommates & myself went to the dunes to look at the stars ( which I totally recommend to go to if you live in Rexburg because it is beautiful, just really cold so bring lots of blankets). I was on Tinder on the ride there & I matched with this guy, Tyler. I got a message from him a couple minutes later that went as the following:

Tyler"We should make out"
Me "Totally"
Tyler "Ya. I'm just in town till Sunday though so it would have to be like...tonight"

Okay, so don't judge me on my quick response to make out with this total stranger but here are my reasons: 1) He looked really hot. 2) I really wanted to make out. 3) I didn't think it was going to happen.

Sorry if you hate people like me, but I'm the kind of person who will tell people what they want to here even if I'm sure it might not actually happen. So yeah, I told this guy I would "totally" make out with him. It even became more impossible when he told me that his car was back at home so he didn't have one. I don't have a car here either so it was very doubtful that this was going to happen. My phone had died while I was at the dunes, so I messaged him Saturday morning saying sorry & that I wish it would have worked out, blah blah blah. Then he says that he might have a car that night but it wouldn't be til like after 12.

I already had plans to go to drive in movie with my roommates & Cody & his friends. I told Tyler what he wanted to hear, still not thinking this will actually happen considering I had plans for the night. After the drive in movie, Cody tells us that his parents are out of town so there's no one home so we go over to his house to watch a movie. By this time it's 2 am ( past curfew, I'm such a rebel). Tyler had told me where his friends house is that he was staying the weekend at & it clicks in my head that it's in the same neighborhood as Cody. At this point I've been leading on to Tyler that this is going to happen. I ask my roommates what I should do & they convince me to do it. It's college. I haven't been kissed for A YEAR AND A HALF. So yeah, I give him the address I was at & he comes & picks me up.

Talk about nerves. I don't know this kid. He did confirm that he's a RM which settles my ease just a little, even though that doesn't mean much considering he literally just picked me up to MAKE OUT. He was actually really sweet though. He opened the door for me, we had a good conversation on the ride to his friends house. We get there & I sit down on the couch while he tries to figure out the light situation. Not to dark, not to bright. He sits next to me & BAM, he just goes for it.

Literally, best make out....ever. I just wish I could explain every detail about it, which I might just actually in my next post because it was that great. I was right about him being hot. He was gorgeous, tall, blonde, smelled delicious. Ugh, just take me back. Little did we realize that 2 hours had gone by & it's already 4 AM! We went for 2 hours without any interruptions! He drove me back & it totally wasn't awkward, which was a surprise to me because I'm the awkwardest person on this planet.

I really wanted him to text me the next Sunday saying something, I didn't care what, just something! But he didn't. Being the pathetic person I am, I texted him Monday saying "Just for the record, you were great." He replied "Thank you haha so were you!"We texted for like a day & then never replied. I was complaining about it this whole week because that's all I've been thinking about. Like what the heck Natasha! You knew what you were getting yourself into! This was simply a one night thing. He doesn't even live here. You'll never see him ever again.

He did mention that we should do it again, considering he lives like 5 hours away & said he's probably visiting sometime soon, but still. He'll probably go find a new girl on Tinder. Like I said, I was being super pathetic.


Woke up this morning. Check my phone.

Tyler. 1:23 a.m. "Dang I wish we could hang out right now haha"


Seriously. He's not making this easy for me. Don't get me wrong, I was sooo excited when I saw that. Why did he have to be so nice & sweet & hot & an amazing kisser?? I replied to him this morning & he hasn't said anything back. Awesome.

Well yeah, that's the past 5 days in a nutshell.


btw, like my new layout? :)

Update on Roomies

Let me get into my roommate drama. First of all, Natasha, Hannah (who is a junior) & I are all like best friends! Michelle is really cool & hangs out with us most of time, but I can't really trust her because of her lying to us about boys & everything. But I try to forget about that & most of the time we have a good time. But then we have Caylie (my roommate) & Chloe (Hannahs roommate). The first 2 weeks we invited them everywhere we went but they always declined. Then they started going out by themselves & just not telling us. Aka they hate us for no reason. Hannah & Chloe got in this huge fight about a week ago & it was super awkward for like 3 days. They talked it out a couple days after & everything was all smiles & giggles for a day & then it went back to normal. So as of now, we just hardly talk to them & they don't talk to us. It's pretty upsetting but we did all that we can.

Remember Eric? Yeah, he texted me saying we should get together to watch movie. Even though that might have been a little awkward considering he once almost came over to also meet Michelle, I thought whatever, I'll invite the whole apartment to watch the movie with us so it's not like date. I tell everyone & they all seem to think it's a good idea. Natasha then comes to my room & proceeds to tell me that Michelle has been keeping something from me. She had been hanging out with Eric already. Why did this get me kinda mad? Not because I liked him, because I don't. The reason is because she had no reason to hide it from me. I was open about the fact that we were going to hang out, so why couldn't she do the same? I got over it & I'm not even interested in Eric like that anymore. She continues to hang out with him in secret (& I know this because she tells Natasha & Natasha tells me), but it doesn't bother me as much. I just wish she could confide in me with stuff like that. She also met this OTHER guy (she has lots of them) named Cody. He is all of our favorite guy that Michelle has brought around us. He's cute, sweet, funny & super outgoing. We all want them to get married.

Cody kinda brings me to the most exciting thing that has happened since I've been here so I'll leave that story for my next post.

Aubrey's Questions

I'm proud to say that I got my first comment a couple days ago! I hope this is the beginning for many to come. So Aubrey, thank you!

Here are my answers to the questions Aubrey asked:

Do I like my roommates?
Okay, so when first moving in, I thought all my roommates were pretty chill. I bonded really close with 3 of the girls, not including my immediate roommate. My immediate roommate is really shy & introverted so it's really hard to get her to open up. The other roommate is kind of a neat freak & just thinks she is better than all of us. There was actually a confrontation 2 days ago, that I will post about soon, about how we don't clean enough & all this stuff. We did figure it out & everything, so now everything is good between us. But yeah, all together, I'm fine with my roommates. I do have 3 AMAZING roommates that I spend most of my time with so I'm sure the same will happen with you.

Do I like my FHE family?
This is going to sound really mean & like I'm complaining, but my FHE group kinda sucks. We have 12 girls to 6 guys, & all our guys are really nerdy & weird. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they are nice boys, but they just don't draw the eye, you know what I mean?

Do I miss my family?
Again, this is going to sound mean, but I kind of don't.....It's not like I could go the rest of my life without seeing them though. It's been really nice being on my own. I like having my freedom. I still talk to them everyday so it doesn't even feel like I'm 2,000+ miles away from them.

Do I like where I'm living?
I LOVE IT! I don't want to mention where I'm living for reasons, but maybe if I get any more requests about it, I will one day. But yes, it's a super nice place & the manager is sooo nice.

Have I met any weirdo marriage hungry people?
I feel like I haven't....but I'm sure I have. It's not like guys come up to you out of nowhere & immediately ask you out. As much as I wish that was the case, it's not. There is, though, A LOT of married people here. I can't even begin to count how many times I got excited because I saw a cute boy in class, to then seeing he has a ring. It's the worst.


I love answering your questions, so please feel free to ask me as many as you want!

My first sad night in the Burg

I probably shouldn't be blogging right now. You know how they say you shouldn't go shopping when your hungry, lonely, angry, etc.? Well yeah, I think that should apply to blogging as well. I don't have much of a reason to be in this mood that I'm in, but I am anyways. I hate when I do this to myself. I put so much hope into something that I know probably won't work out. For the sake of you readers (if I have any), I will try not to pour my emotions into the rest of this post, but I apologize if I do.

I left off telling ya'll that I was having my first date here in good 'ole Rexburg. His name is Travis & It was a....good date. He picked me up at my apartment & we went for ice cream. His plan was that we were going to go learn to ballroom dance but we ended up getting there to late, so we sat & talked for about 3 hours. He just got back from him mission 2 weeks ago, so I feel like he's still in that awkward stage. We talked a lot about his mission, our families, our likes & dislikes, & played would you rather. He walked me back to my apartment, giving me his jacket on the walk back considering I was freezing, & that was it. Like I said, it was nice. I've been texting him since then but he's not a very entertaining texter. I don't think he's put one "haha" or "lol"in any of his texts, so I can't help but think everything he is saying is serious. But he is honestly such a sweet guy & I would totally love to have him as a friend. Sorry Travis, but I have to friend zone you.

Okay, so I have this one roommate, Michelle, who is a super sweet girl but I can't help but be annoyed by the things she is doing. Maybe it might be a tad jealousy, but it's not only me that thinks she is being dumb. She has this "boyfriend" back at home that she says she is in love with & all she does is talk about him. She says that they aren't officially dating, but it's basically that. They skype everyday, she calls him babe, the whole nine yards. We all went to this party Saturday night & ya know, there was a lot of good looking guys there so we were all having fun, grinding on all these guys, having a good time. We later find out that she made out with some guy she danced with. She had previously told us that she thought she started getting feelings for one of her exes that goes here that we have been hanging out with. THEN she gets another guys # from the party, & they've been hanging out since last night & she's told us that they made out yesterday (the first time they ever hung out).

Now don't get me wrong, I probably would make out with a guy the first time we hung out if I was interested like that. My problem is that she literally talks about how much she loves this kid back home so much & then says that she has feelings for her ex. Like seriously? It just really makes me mad. Not to mention that she brought that kid over yesterday was super weird. They totally acted like they were dating. All touchy feely. Whatever, I'm done with that rant.

I gave into the whole Tinder phenomenon & started using it yesterday. I was supposed to have a date with one of the guys I met on there today but I got super sick so I had to cancel, which is really upsetting, but how unattractive is it when I have to blow my nose every 2 minutes? This other guy named Eric came over to my apartment to meet me & he seemed super cool, not to mention really hot. He stayed for maybe 10 minutes, talking to my roommates & I and then he left. He messaged me saying he thought we were awesome & then we planned to watch a movie tomorrow night. This is where my problem comes in. I literally was so happy. This guy literally went out of his way to come meet me, we seemed to both really hit it off, & he wanted to hang out with me tomorrow. Was I excited because we would probably end up kissing? OF COURSE! Why do you think I was so excited?

Michelle gets back an hour later after hanging out with her weird, touchy feely guy for like 4 hours. She starts saying how she doesn't think she likes him because he's really attached already & he had gotten mad at her for leaving so early. We talk a little about that & then I tell her how she missed my Tinder guy coming to meet me & she says that a guy she met on Tinder was coming to meet her too. Considering that was a weird coincidence, I ask her what his name is & she says Eric. Same freaking guy. When she tells him what apt. # she's in, he never replies to her & stopped replying to me.

So yeah, that was my night. I don't even know if tomorrow night will happen now, which I was really looking forward too. Wanna know something even more annoying? Michelle just left to go hang out with weird guy....even though she just got done saying what she said.

Sorry for being so depressing.

Over before it even started

I've been in Rexburg exactly a week today & it feels like I've been here for months. That's definitely not a bad thing though. I love it here. I already have a funny story to tell when I get back home though about this guy I was supposed to go out with, but I think I'm going to hold off on that him.

So this guy, we can call Joe, asked me if I would want to go to the movies with him sometime. Being as this is the first guy to suggest a date, I told him yes. Ya know, being asked out on the first week of classes kind of boosted my confidence a little. That's not bad, right? Anyways, I was getting to my 3:15 pm class yesterday when he texts me "Do you want to hangout for a couple hours before I go to football?" which my response was "I'm totally in class right now. What time is football?" He says 5 & my class ended at 4:45 so I said "Dang, that's unfortunate" & that's the last I heard from him for an hour. This is where things got weird. Here is what happened:

Is that not like...creepy? All my roommates think it's totally weird that he would say that considering 1) He never said he was skipping football to hang out with me & 2) He never asked if I had plans after class. The thing that really kind of bothers me is that the boys I have told don't seem to find it that rude. I just don't get it. I've known this kid for 4 days & he expects me to have a clear my schedule for him?  

So yeah, I texted him back "Oh sorry, I didn't know you were skipping to hang out with me" & he said "Ya I know, it's cool have fun" & I just didn't reply. The really awkward part, I'm going to have to see him every Sunday for the next 13 weeks. Awesome. 

On a better note, I have a date tonight! I'm so nervous I could throw up! Wish me luck. I'll be back soon to let you know how it goes :)

Short & Sweet

I'm totally going to make this short & simple because it's my first week of college & I have tons of homework but I love college. I love BYUI. I love Rexburg. I just love everything about how my life is right now.

I've been here 5 nights & there has not been one night that I have just stayed at my apartment. It is super awesome how my roommates & I have found something to do every single night. I-Night was super exciting & fun. I met my ward on Sunday & they are great. We have such amazing guys who are such sweet hearts, & I must say that some of them are very good looking.

I was going to write about all these exciting things, but I don't think anyone reads this so I won't. But if you do, please comment & I would be more than ECSTATIC to let you guys know!

Long story short, I got asked on 2 dates today!! Not even a week in Rexburg & I have 2 dates. I am literally jumping for joy because that's what I was super worried about. I was so worried I would never get asked out on a date, but here I am. They both seem like nice guys so I'm excited to get to know them.

Is it bad that I really hope one of the dates ends somewhere near a make-out sesh..? Because I haven't kissed/made-out with someone in like a year & I think it's about time that changed.

On my own at BYU-IDAHO

I am finally settled into my apartment. I said goodbye to my mom & best friend who came all the way up here with me to drop me off. I have met all my roommates. So I guess you can say I'm officially a college student.

Our trip up here was pretty intense. My mom & Karoline came up to drop me off. My favorite part of the trip was when we went to temple square 2 nights before coming to Idaho. Karoline was really interested in all the things that we were seeing & talking about. Karoline has been my best friend for 8 years & she has gone to church with me maybe 3 times. I never invited her because she's very critical. For her to believe something, she has to see it with her own eyes. A big part of our church is based on the concept of Faith, which she hasn't developed yet. But the happy part is she actually agreed to talk to the missionaries back at home because she wants to learn more about it. Now I'm not saying she is going to get baptized anytime soon, but it was such an awesome feeling that she actually wants to learn more & likes the way the church works. I'm so happy I was able to share the experience with her because I knew she felt the Spirit while we were there.


Campus. BYU-Idaho is so pretty. I'm so happy to be attending this beautiful school where everyone has the same standards as me & all get along (for the most part). I've always heard the BYUI is a small campus but honestly, if this is a small campus, then I would be screwed at a big campus. I've gone around maybe like 3 times & I' still not quite sure how to get to my classes.  Maybe I can ask cute boys where they are on the first day ;) I absolutely love it here.

Let's talk roommates now. So remember that one post about my roommates? Yeah, well the rooms got rearranged. Natasha & Michelle are still in my apartment but now we have another freshman Caylie, who is my roommate, & we then we have a sophomore & a senior. All in all, I'm so happy with the people that ended up in my apartment. I get along really well with Natasha & Michelle, but it's awkward sometimes when they talk about people back at home & I just sit there cause I have no idea who they are talking about. Caylie is....not as outgoing as we are. She is quiet, but she can have a conversation with you if you start talking to her. She is really nice but is really focused on her studying, which I am too, but let's be honest, having fun & meeting boys is high on my priority list. My older roommates are always in & out so I hardly see them so I don't have much to say about them, but they seem. I'm pretty stoked on how it all turned out.


BOYS BOYS BOYS! I can't fathom how many cute boys go here. I am in love. Most of them are also like the sweetest. I don't think I have yet to hold a door open for myself. I was kinda freaking out the first day because a boy had yet to talk to me & I thought that was supposed to happen immediately. But tonight we had this even called I-Night which is where they had a whole bunch of activities & games set up. It was a lot of fun & a great way to meet people. I got my first phone number!! They had a speed dating area set up so I obviously went & the first guy was super nice. He asked where I lived & then he told me he bakes bread & that he was going to bring me some. I'm really hoping he does because he was super cute. The next boy was also really nice & super cute. We had some things in common & then asked for my number so we could hang out sometime! The crazy thing about him is that he just got back from his mission a week ago! It's crazy that most of these guys are RM. I guess we will see if he ever does text me.

The dance was WILD! All I need to say is that my big toe nail basically got ripped off & is now bleeding & it hurts horribly. But it was totally worth. Cute boys & asked to dance with us so I was a happy camper.

I honestly don't know how I'm writing this right now because I have gotten approx. 10 hours of sleep in the past 2 days & church is at 9 aka I have to get up at 7. I'm super pumped to meet my ward & hoping to meet some cool people. Hoping I will soon have some fun stories to write.

No Pants Party

Before going any further, I should inform you that most of my close friends are guys. Karoline & Lucy are the only 2 girl friends that I have kept an actual friendship with over the years.

I have these 3 guy friends that I've known since middle school and became really close with senior year as we shared our science class. Brian, Sam, & Ace. I've always been kinda close with Brian & Sam but Ace just kinda came out of nowhere. Let me give you a quick summary of each:

Brian- 7 out of 10. Not the brightest crayon in the box but deep down he's a super sweet guy. I must mention, for blogging purposes, he is very well off...aka....rich. Has an amazing house. We call it the Great Gatsby house of our town. Also must mention that he dated Karoline back in middle school days.

Sam- 9 out of 10. Very good looking guy I must say. We have that love/hate relationship going on. He's always making fun of me and saying mean things, but it's all just for laughs & giggles. Girls are always drooling over him. Basically has his hip attached to Brain as they are ALWAYS together.

Ace- 5 out of 10. Literally just a funny guy. He never fails to make me crack up. He's always in & out of our little friendship circle.

Now that that's over, we can get on to the story.

So Brian invites Sam (who basically lives there), Ace & I over to his house. I bring along Karoline with me so they don't gang up on me as they usually do. We get there around 8ish & chill in his backyard like always, which is even better than the inside of his house. We sit by the t.v. & watch baseball. Catch up, since it's maybe the 2nd time we've hung out all the summer. Around 10, due to the fact that he lives on lake, mosquitos are basically eating us alive. Brian suggest we go over & sit by the fire where the mosquitos aren't so bad, so we go ahead & do that. Ace leaves about a half hour later & now it's just Brian, Sam, Karoline & myself left. Here is where things get interesting.

The fire starts to get a little too hot for me (it's a summer night in Florida!), so I head over to the pool to dip my feet in for a while & Sam follows me. We sit side by side talking & watching the stars because there was a meteor shower going on. Sam & I have really good conversations when it's just us. After about 15 minutes, Brian & Karoline head over.

They then dare me to jump in the pool, fully clothed. If you've read all my posts, you know I don't back out of dares. Granted, I'm wearing a maxi skirt & a tank top. My skirt floats around very unflattering. Karoline says she wants to go in & would take her yoga pants off but she is wearing "inappropriate underwear" (her words, aka thong). Brian, with his handy dandy little iPad looking thing, taps a button & all the lights from the backyard & pool turn off, leaving us almost in pure darkness, only the sky lighting our faces ( wow, that was intense). Karoline, then being her crazy self, takes off her yoga pants  & heads into the pool. At this point I'm like screw this skirt, so I take it off. Brian & Sam already have their bathing suits on, so they just take their shirts off & dive in. We made it awkward for a second, boys on one side of the pool, girls on the other, but it's not like we could see each other anyway, so we got over it.

We got bored of the pool & then headed to the hot tub (making sure the guys went in first & did not turn around). Sam & I on one side, Brian & Karoline on the other. We talked about cool thing & dumb things, I honestly can't remember, but it was a good time. We saw so many shooting stars & made wishes. Sam kept asking me what I wished for but I couldn't tell him or it wouldn't come true,  & then he would tell me the same thing whenever I would ask him. I sensed a little flirtation going on, but I can't really say for sure.

Karoline & I left Brians house about 2 a.m. with his towels around us. We went to Taco Bell before heading home & sat in my car & talked while we ate. For the past year or so, Karoline has had a thing for Brian. Not a huge thing, just a little one. I've told Brian this because I can, & he has told me that he kinda has a small thing for her too. They just don't tell eachother! They both know, but have done nothing!

Moral of the story, Karoline & I just want to make out with Brian & Sam.

100 views!

Even though most of the views on my blog are from those dumb spam websites, it still feels awesome. I'm really proud of my little blog. I hope someone out there has found humor in my life. Not many exciting things have happened this past month, so I'm sorry for no exciting posts. Things will soon pick up though. I leave for BYU-Idaho in 27 days! Words cannot express how stoked I am for this.

All my friends are leaving this weekend for their colleges & it's so bittersweet. Growing up with almost half of my senior class (which is about 1,000), I have seen them all grow into such amazing young men & woman. Of course you have those that are not on the right path at this time in their life, but I have faith that they will soon learn what life is out of high school.

But I am going to miss them so much. I forget sometimes that they will all be able to see eachother on weekends with a 2-4 hour drive in between them, while I'm going to be half way across the country.

I'm ready for this. I'm ready to meet new people. I'm ready to get out of my comfort zone & be more social. I'm ready to study hard during the day & have crazy fun at night. I got this.

Also, if you are an actual person reading my blog, please comment to give me an indication that I'm not writing to Internet Space. It doesn't have to be about anything, you can just say Hi or anything! I would love to just know that someone is reading & all my views are not just from spam. This will also give me the encourgament to post more often.Thank you!

Roommates

I have been waiting for this moment for the past 6 months. It's a big deal. I'm going to be living with these 5 girls for 4 months straight. Ideally, I wanted all of us to be freshman, so we could go through all the new stuff together & get to know everything together. I also wanted us all to be complete strangers. It would just makes things so much easier & more fun if we all had to get to know each other.

But of course, the exact opposite happened. I've got a girl with the same exact name as me, which is always fun. She has a friend with her, Michelle. Natasha's older sister ironically was put in the same apartment with her & her 2 friends. & then there's me. Natasha's older sister, Regan, & her 2 friends are like 20 & 21 so they already know BYU-I. It's just crazy how it all went the total opposite on how I wanted it too.

When I first found out about the whole ironic situation, I was really bummed out. They all have some sort of connection which is the last thing I wanted. I'm so bad at putting myself out there in the first place, much less when everybody already knows each other.

Natasha reached out to me on FB & we have been talking for the past 3 days. We seem to be really getting along & have a lot in common. So my spirits have gone back up & I'm so excited to meet these girls.

P.S. We got a balcony :)

Coincidence or not?

So a couple weeks ago, a couple of my friends & I were just getting back from watching a movie & decided to chill in the parking lot of IHOP. By this time it was already midnight so what better to do than play truth or dare. We did some funny stuff, spilled some secrets, & then it was my turn. They dared me to call Luke.

It had been a solid year & half since I last talked to Luke. We ended on neither good or bad terms, it was just like, we stopped talking. He had since moved out of state for college while I was finishing up my last year in high school. But now, he was back for the summer.

For anyone who knows me, I don't back out of dares. I play by the rules, so I did what I was told. I called him. It rang.....and rang....and finally went to voicemail. But that didn't give me a free ride. They then told me I had to leave a descriptive message stating it was me & saying that I just wanted to see how he was doing. Is that embarrassing or what? But I did it anyway.

A week went by and nothing, not that I expected him to call back or anything. I was on my home from work & I look over & see a black jeep. Chandler has a black jeep, so I automatically assume it's him, but right before I give a wave, I realize it's not him. I do a double take & realize that it's Luke. He must have gotten a new car, because before he left for college he definitely did not have a jeep.

I try to avoid eye contact because I'm awkward & that situation would be awkward. This was the first time I had seen him in over a year! He gets behind my car and I'm flipping shinannigans. My car is pretty recognizable so I'm sure he's figured out it's me. We go our separate ways after almost 5 minutes & I'm relieved. I can finally quit gripping my stirring wheel so tight, I don't have to worry about how good I'm driving, it's over.

I get home, check my phone, & see a text from the one & only, Luke. The text message was as followed:

"Heyyy! Sorry for such a late response. I've been really busy lately! How have you been?"

Coincidence or not? He never mentions in our conversation that he saw me on the road, but it is what it is. Although my feelings for him had been long gone, seeing him after so long was refreshing. I mean, he's gorgeous. I literally thought I was the shiz when I dated him. I was a normal junior girl & he was this tall, captain of the baseball team, president of  NHS, senior guy. It was all dandelions & rainbows til he broke up with me out of nowhere. I honestly did not see it coming, but it didn't hurt me as much as I expected.

Anyways, we texted for like 2 days, but it was just about his time in college and me moving to Idaho in a month. But then it was over just like that.

It was fun while it lasted.

Catch up

All stories have to start off somewhere. You can say my life is kind of a story, so there should probably be a base to start it all off. Let's see where this takes me...

Elementary School:

• Lots of coloring
• Cursive (you don't really use it kids)
• Met my best friend in the whole entire world, Karoline*

Middle School:

• First boyfriend, Jake (even though I was a ripe age of 14 & didn't know what a boyfriend was) 
• My sister & I found ourselves trying to adjust to our new single mom household
• Realized I will never hang out with the "party" crowd
• Met my best friend, Chandler*
• Met & became determined I was going to marry Kyle, even though he has no idea

High School:

• Found some cool friends 
• Gained my testimony & never lowered my standards
• Probably didn't make the best effort in schoolwork, but did decent
• Dated a guy I thought I was going to have an eternal marriage with, Lance
• Became best friends with Jake*
• Got my heart broken
• Dated the "high school hottie", Luke
• Dumped 
• Had one NCMO 
• Had a good time, but definitely happy it's over

I can't complain about how my life has turned out so far. There have definitely been some rough moments, but who hasn't had them, right? I've loved, hated, & everything in the middle. I've been to many places in the country & am blessed to have had the opportunity. I have the most amazing family & I wouldn't trade them for the world. I am much talk when it comes to how forward I can be with a guy, but when it comes down to it, a smile is probably the most I'll do. I am a firm believer that guys should make the first move to show there is an interest (start a conversation, ask for #, etc). My mom & I are best friends, and it's probably because we are so different. She thinks it's totally acceptable for a girl to make a first move, & I'm not saying it's forbidden, just not for me. I will be married in the Temple one day (hopefully soon) with the love of my life, for time & all eternity. I want to be a mom more than anything. I have high hopes & they are not coming down any time soon. 

*Karoline, Jake & Chandler are those lifetime friends. They mean the world to me. Yeah, I have other friends I might mention now & then, but these are those you just know are true... 

This is Me

I guess I should start off introducing myself. You can call me Natasha. I was searching the internet for some insight on life at BYU-Idaho & came across Confessions of a MormonSkank (if you haven't visited this blog, DO IT) and that's how I got my inspiration. I am an ordinary girl who is head over heels over any guy who gives me the time of day. I've grown up in a small town in Florida & it's been my home, but will soon be moving to Idaho to attend BYU-I. I have the most perfectly unperfect family I could ever ask for. I have been blessed to have grown up with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as the most important aspect in my life. I have a true testimony of it & love it with all of my heart. I am here to share my experiences & feelings with anybody who is willing to read. I am not writer or journalist so please don't expect some amazing literature. I am here to share & hopefully help & guide those who are in similar situations. I hope you enjoy my life as much as I do (sometimes).