I've only mentioned Kyle once, & that was in my Catch Up post. If I would have started this blog about 4 years ago, all I would ever write about would be Kyle. He was all I ever thought about. I would go out of my way at school to see him. I would get to church just a bit early so I could see him leave his ward. I would go to the football games just to see him. I didn't even like football. I found myself talking to his friends so they could talk to him about me. So you would think that we had a pretty decent friendship? Wrong. We never talked. When I say never, that's exactly what it means. Never had his number. We spoke maybe 2 sentences to each other every 2 months at a stake dance or whenever our mutual friends asked us to hang out. He was that guy I swore I would marry but never had a chance with. He left for his mission my junior year of high school & then I kinda forced myself to forget about him. & it worked. I met other guys & grew up a lot.
Now let's back track to my first Sunday back at home since leaving for BYU-I. I was excited to see everyone in my home ward & be with my family. Park the car & I stay in the car to put my heels on while my mom & sister walk inside. I gather my things & get out of the car & who do I see walk out the church towards me? Kyle.
I had seen on FB that he had gotten back but I did not expect to see him anytime soon. Butterflies is all I can describe on how I felt in that moment. All these emotions I once had for him just hit me in the face. He looked so good. He looked so much more mature. That amazing smile of his was still there. We finally meet & then the cutest thing happens. He puts out his hand for a handshake & as we start to shake hands he says "Ah sorry, I forgot I can give hugs" & then he proceeds to hug me. Literally the sweetest thing. We chatted about how I just got done with my first semester at BYU-I & how he is headed to BYU. & that was about it. It was so crazy seeing him after 2 years. Especially talking to him since we had hardly had a 5 minute conversation prior.
About a week later I get a FB message from him asking if I was going to be at BYU-I this semester. Kyle. Kyle was messaging ME. I told him that I was off-track but that I was staying with family in Utah. Then he proceeds to tell me "No way! I'm up here in Utah. We need to hang out as soon as you get here." Heart dropped. Kyle was asking me to HANG OUT! It probably seems dumb how much I freaked over this but if only you know how in love I was with him in high school.
We talked on FB for like 2 days. Some of the things that he said that made me melt inside go as follows:
"Oh wow. When do you turn 19? It looks like your 20 haha but I have been gone for a while lol"
"I'm surprised that no one asked you to marry you yet."
"You're a good person you know that? I thank you for being my friend lol I was just thinking of how long we have been friends & it's been a while."
That last one kind of caught me off guard. Can you guess why? As I said before, we hardly ever talked prior to his mission. Ever. So the fact that he said that kind of confused me a little because I didn't even think he considered me a friend. But I'll take it.
He messaged me again the day I was leaving for Utah saying "I hear you're coming to Utah today." Again, freaking out. We talked again for a couple days & then he asked for my number. So we texted a bit but then it just kinda died. I texted him yesterday just to start conversation because my mom has been begging me to (she also wants me to marry him ). He asked what I was doing this weekend & then said we should hang out. Of course I said YES since I have no plans. But then that was it. We haven't made any official plans. & it's already Friday night.
It's so weird to me that after all these years being in love with him & never getting him to realize I exist, now that he does it's like I'm not freaking out anymore. He used to say Hi to me in the hall way at school & I would be the happiest girl in the world. Now, he's texting me & I'm like "Oh. That's cool." Like if he never does end up texting me tomorrow, I won't be devastated.
But I still do hope that I get to hang out with him soon. Just to see how it feels to be around him after all this time.
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