"Round Two?"

In order for this post to make sense, you have to go read this post.

I wish I would have blogged in between now & then so you could have seen my struggle but then also seen how much better I got towards the end. But I will try to explain to you how this past month has gone. So after making out with rando Tyler who lives in Utah, my feelings went as followed:

• Week 1: Wow, I really liked making out with Tyler & I wish he lived here
• Week 2: Why do I like Tyler so much, all I did was make out with him
• Week 3: I'm so pathetic, I haven't even spoken to the kid since we made out & I still think about him
• Week 4: That's it, I'm over it. I'm happy. 

Last week I honestly was over it. I hardly thought about it. I was genuinely happy. 

Natasha, Hannah, Dave & I had been planning for a while that we were going to go to Utah this weekend to go to the BYU game. Yes, I realized I was going to be only miles away from where Tyler lived but I had no intentions of texting him letting him know I was there. And this was for two reasons: 1) I didn't want to be embarrassed if he totally shut me down because what we did was a one time thing 2) I was over him. 

So we drive down & my friends obv tell me that I should text him. I'm constantly telling them I'm not going to do it but they keep pushing it. I just let it go & let them say what they want to say. We get to Hannah's friends place that we were staying at & Dave leaves because he is spending the night at his friends place.. So we are left with no car. It wasn't too bad considering we were super close to everything we would need. We put on a movie but we all end up falling asleep. I wake about an hour later but everybody is still sleeping. I had a text from Dave saying "TEXT TYLER". 

Ya know when you are just waking up from sleep & you have no cares in the world & you just do the craziest thing? Yeah, so this happened:

How did this even happen?! Like honestly. I'll spare all the details but long story short, he came & picked me up a few hours later & went to his place which was only like 20 min away from where I was staying. 

Wowie, can a make out even get any better?  This time was different though. We didn't make out the whole time. We actually cuddled & talked. Want to know the cutest part? We fell asleep. Cuddling. In each others arms. Like how am I supposed to not have an emotional connection with someone after that? I was over his place for about 3 hours & then we decided I should probably be going back. So he drove me back to where I was staying & our conversation was great. We talked about our families & what we want to do in the future. It made it even worse that he held my hand on the drive back.

Once we got to there, we just sat in the car & talked more. Okkkaaaay, we did also make out a little more, but it was like cute kissing. He even held told me he was going to come to Idaho soon. With all this stuff I couldn't help but say this one thing I swore I would never tell him.

Me: "So is it bad.....that I kinda like you...?"
Him: "Uhhh....well.....you live in Idaho & I live here so I would be kinda pointless."

I literally felt like an idiot. I was all like "yeah, duh, that was dumb of me to say". And then he just grabbed by hand again & was like "no it wasn't dumb" & then we just started kissing again. I'm not happy neither upset about his response. It could have been better & he could have said it back. Or he could have said the same thing but then pulled away from me & leave. Even after I said that, we stayed sitting in his car talking for about 30 minutes. I literally had to force myself out of his car because if I didn't we would have talked all night/morning.

When I went inside & was getting ready to go to bed, I realized the bandana I was wearing in my hair was now not there & I was missing an earring. This gave either myself or him an excuse to text each other. But neither of us did. It's been 4 days & we haven't spoken.

I really just want my bandana back.

and also maybe him...